There's no place like home

Sunday, sunday, sunday. This used to be my unofficial blogging day, there's something about having nothing written in my diary that encourages me to blog. Monday to Friday is work with a bit of youth work in there for good measure, Saturdays are generally either plans with friends or the boyfriend or youth work catch up along with a good dose of cleaning but Sundays, well, they're designed for reflection.

Today we found out that we don't have to move house again. When Paul came along and told us that he was going to sell one of the flats and it was very likely to be ours visions of boxes, suitcases, packing and unpacking once again came to my head like it has so many times over the past five years. Frantic internet searches and numerous lists of what had to be done have been made, whenever the shit hits the fan I make a list. So we found somewhere that was a tad more expensive than here but had a lovely bathroom and I decided to bite the bullet and phone Paul to let him know we were thinking of leaving and frankly to see just how early we could wangle our deposit out of him. "Situations changed lass, we're not selling the flats". I could not believe what I was hearing, all the stress that had piled on top of me since hearing the words "we're selling" slid away leaving me with the simple sensation of elation. We could stay, we could keep our lovely kooky little flat were to showers controlled by the basin taps. I couldn't have been happier, I was so happy I woke Liam up from his sleep by shaking him shouting "WE CAN STAY", I think the poor boy must have thought I'd gone completly mad.

I've become rather attached to this flat, I know it has it's moments (we really need to get the rave-happy bathroom light sorted out) but I really love living here. I feel comfortable on my own here and I don't mind when everyone's out which is truly a sign of me feeling relaxed. I've moved so many times I'd forgotten what it was like to call somewhere home and really feel like it is. Living with my parents both felt like a jail sentance and borrowed time. I was always waiting for the next argument where my step dad could remind me that this home really wasn't mine and it was only because he 'allowed' me to live there that I could stay. So many tear filled nights in those houses and before that, well before that I was just floating from one place to another waiting for my cue to pack up again and move on. I really feel like I'm finally home, the blow that we had to once again move on was devistating and it feels like there's someone looking after me out there, changing Pauls mind and allowing me to stay...and I don't have to ring bloody sky again.

Tomorrow morning I have to be up at 5:30am in order to go and be interview on Radio Merseyside about our youth project in DCLP. Politics is obviously all over the news at the moment and the fact they're interested in our project is obviously good news. I never ever thought I would have the guts to go on radio but I just need to bite the bullet and do it. I need to push myself more and I am a hell of a lot more confident than I was a few years ago, not only that I'm also a lot more informed than I ever was. I am lucky to be given these opportunities and I know that without them my life would be a whole lot more dull.

Naomi and I are hoping to start up a joint venture from DCLP. We're going to be an organisation that finds work experience and training for young people. Our role would be contacting businesses and organising dates and also finding out from young people what their interests are and finding jobs that match that. It was something that would have been a great help to me when I was younger, so many young people have an idea of what their dream job is without the practical reality. They go through so many years of training and when they get into that job they don't like it. Not only have they wasted money on student loans but they've wasted their time. They're back at square one just with less options. Hopefully we can get this business going, our fee would come from a management fee and I would especially like to go into young offenders institutes and offer this service to them as part of a young person's rehabilitation, something Noami already has experience of.

My job might not be the most exciting thing at the moment but I am being offered amazing opportunities. From Norway to the possibility of opening my own business I am incredibly grateful.